Association for Christian Family Counseling

We all have the capacity to hide, pretend and cover up problems and emotions that upset us. These defensive ways of living are often subconscious and not overtly chosen in our conscious mind. I believe these defense mechanisms are God given survival tools to help children and adolescents cope with hurts and traumas, yet I believe these patterns were not intended to last a lifetime. For some of us, these strategies begin to breakdown in our 20’s while for others they become less and less effective in our 30’s and 40’s while for yet others the 50’s is the turning point.

I also believe God is calling each of us to honesty, to face our situations and troubling emotions such as sadness, depression, anxiety, guilt shame and anger. I have the privilege to come along side individuals and couples and to assist them in their healing journey which involves change, growth and experiencing God’s grace as they find new, healthier, more honest life strategies.

We are told in Scripture to “be anxious for nothing”, “cast our cares on Him”, and to     “fear not.”  Why is this message repeated many times in the Bible?

One answer is because God knows worry, anxiety and fear are so common to the human experience. There are various reasons for our stress including life itself, poor choices on our part or by others, our thinking patterns and because some of us are naturally more predisposed to anxiety. I believe it is wise to face our fears and in a safe counseling relationship to explore what has contributed to our present condition and to look for ways to improve our situation and resolve the root factors as best we can. For those who are open to learning and growing, we can deepen our relationship with God and experience more of the peace that Christ desires for us to know.

With school out and the kids at home, it is important to build a cooperative spirit in family interactions and avoid patterns that provoke defensiveness. When people become defensive walls go up, ears shut down, emotions can quickly become negative and harsh words can flow. One factor that can help avoid this is to slow down enough to really hear what the other person is saying. We are reminded in James 1:19 to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.”